Sucks to be not myself
I've never, not in my entire life, hyped myself into a learning frenzy as much as I did lately. I now know why: it doesn't do me any good. I'm freaking out because of 5 or 6 Chinese signs I keep forgetting; considering that we only had 6 lessons of Chinese so far and already learned a total of about 40 signs plus numbers from 1-10, 5-6 is like .. nothing!
Still, it completely brought me down today. I'll have to try hard to get away from that "I gotta learn more, I'll fall behind and be left behind" pattern, it wrecks me. It makes me feel completely out of touch with myself. That's not me. I've never cared about learning, nor about falling behind. I always fell behind, and I always caught up in no time. So why am I driving myself slowly insane like this? It sucks big time, I know about it, and still I'm not really getting off it; I'm having a bad conscience over learning only 1 hour a day instead of 2-3. For fuck's sake!! I. Ain't. Like. That!
If only telling myself that over and over again worked...

I'm really glad I got some sports activities thanks to uni though, namely Capoeira and Pencak Silat. Both are great fun and I'm really enjoying it. It's good to get my head out of my own ass, too: after Silat training this afternoon, I felt pretty much refreshed.
I shouldn't have tried revising my vocabulary again, and maybe this day wouldn't suck so much.

Ah, what the hell, I'll get myself into my comfy bed and sleep it all over. Tomorrow's Friday, might go and party again. I damn well need a good party. *sigh*